I am "The Mommy"

Raising a child with Autism brings many challenges to the parents.  My son was slow to speak and communication can still be a major hurdle. We are beginning to learn so much more about who he is through our transactions with him. He is funny, smart, caring, creative and in love with the alphabet. Such an interesting fixation for a child that did not talk.   

As his Mommy, there have been moments of sadness. We want so much for our children. We want them to be happy and to have an easy road ahead. Life has not been easy. Communication is what connects us to each other. For a while I felt disconnected to my son. I feel torn as I type this because it is a hard thing to put into black and white print for all to read. I felt such frustration at his silent looks and his blank stares to my persistent questions. What was going on inside his head? Who was I to him? What did he want from me? What did he need from me? What I chose to do was learn as much as I possible could and get him the therapy that he needed. 

 I can remember the day that he called me, "the Mommy". I was in tears because he acknowledged me and titled me.  Parents of Neurotypical children would wonder what the big deal is but he finally connected with me. he reached out and gave me a name.  I wanted to be the Mommy for such a long time and I was so proud that day. 

I am your Mommy

You are my son

The bond goes deeper than words

                          Deeper than blood

                           Deep deep deep

I am your teacher

You are my teacher

We learn so much from each other

                        How to be

                        How to feel

                        How to love others

I am your safe place

You are my soul’s gift

I will protect you always

And you will live on as part of me

                        I keep you safe

                        You have saved me

                        You will always be part of me.

I know who you are

You know me

We are beginning to see what lies

In the future for both of us

                        You are Cade

                        I am Laurie

                        What will we become

                        Together we are

                        Separate we will be

                        What?

I am discovering a new world

You are sharing your world

The world is so full of promise

                        So much to explore

                        So much to learn

                        So much to communicate

                       

I am me

You are you

And we are amazing

LBarone Feb. 1^st  2011

My son is almost four and my oldest almost 12 and we have a long way to go.  I have faith that we will continue to be guided in the right direction. As his Mommy, I will do my best to advocate for him.  The title Mommy is one I do not take lightly for either of my boys. They are a part of me and I understand the protective Mama bear with her cubs. I have those instincts as well. I will shield them and provide them with the protective gear that they need to go out into this world and advocate for themselves and others.